Lesson One Worksheet

Preferring Active Voice

Enter your revision in the box below each exercise. Click the “+” below each box to see Dr. Hirst’s revision.

Exercise #1

Try your hand at ruining a nursery rhyme by couching it in all passive voice:

Eencey Weencey spider
Climbed up the water spout;
Down came the rain
And washed poor Eencey out;
Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain;
And the Eencey Weencey spider
Climbed up the spout again.

The water spout was climbed up
By Eency Weency spider;
Poor Eency was washed out
By the rain that came down.
All the rain was dried up
By the sun that came up
And the spout was again climbed
By the Eencey Weencey spider.

Hard to work against the grain, isn’t it? The passive voice version is longer, harder to read, and less effective. So stop doing this to your own sentences! Let active voice be your “default” voice. Your prose will be crisper, more pleasant, and more effective.

Exercise #2

Change ALL passive constructions to active constructions in the following sentences.
Hint: don’t be afraid to invent an appropriate subject (i.e., agent, person, or organization ) where one or more is lacking:

1. The new chips were sold by the company.

The company sold the new chips.

2. The formula was prepared.

Nutritionists prepared the formula.

3. If the offer is accepted, make sure that the proper form is completed and signed.

If the customer accepts the offer, make sure that he or she completes and signs the proper form.


4. Software has been provided by Apple Computer for the lab’s current needs as requested.

TAs the Engineering Department requested, Apple Computer has provided software for the lab’s current needs.

5. Since only the printer can be considered to be on sale, the computer discount cannot be applied.

Since management considers only the printer to be on sale, we cannot apply the computer discount.

6. This drug has been assigned a maximum dosage of 5 milligrams.

FDA officials have assigned this drug a maximum dosage of 5 milligrams.

7. Standards have been raised and should be discussed with the client, unless these changes are already known.

ABB Enterprises has raised its standards; you should discuss these changes with the client unless he or she already knows about them.

8. The test results have been analyzed and a decision has been made to request further testing on site.

Our decontamination engineers have analyzed the test results, and they have decided to request further testing on site.

9. The following guidelines must be observed when documentation packages are being developed.

Technical writers must observe the following guidelines when developing documentation packages.

10. A device-checking circuit is being written into machine control logic because complaints have been made about the difficulty of checking on machine operation.

ACME engineers are writing a device-checking circuit into our machine control logic because customers have complained about the difficulty of checking on machine operation.

Exercise #3

Edit the following paragraph to remove ALL passives:

When your diagrams have been approved, one copy of each diagram will be returned to you. Equipment must also be approved by ACME engineers. All Hydraulic components must be indicated on the diagram, and the function of all components must be explained. It is important that circuitry drawings, also, be made to conform to ACME standards. These are to be drawn to match the cycle starting point of electrical drawings.

When ACME engineers have approved your diagrams, we will return to you one copy of each diagram. Our engineers must also approve your equipment. Please indicate all hydraulic components on your diagrams and explain the function of all components. You must also conform your circuitry drawings to ACME standards, drawing them to match the cycle starting point of your electrical drawings.